Monday, June 26, 2006

You're not from Texas

Last night I dreamed I saw Joe Hill but I woke up and found myself in the Republic of Texas. They keep telling me, “you’re not from Texas” but I’m here in San Antonio. If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with. So, I’m trying real hard to love Texas.

After 8 months here I’ve figured out my hearing is no good or I’m just a slow learner. It’s not the Republic of Texas, it’s Republican Texas, where Democratic activists and Democratic precinct chairs say they’re not voting for Chris Bell.

If you’re looking for the road to Austin, voting for Rick Perry, Rick Friedman, or Ricki Carole Strayhorn is not the right way to go. You need a new map.

Quit voting for Republicans. Ya basta, y’all. You want to take back Texas, vote for Democrats.

It’s not as though you’re voting for a jerk. Here’s a smart, articulate, decent man who’s been a city council member, a member of Congress, a lawyer, and a journalist. He’s even got a sense of humor. He’s got a little problem with showing up sometimes but let’s just forget that, OK?

Voting for R1, R2 or R3 because Chris Bell went to a Spurs game instead of the Bexar County Dems swearing - in ceremony is like impeaching Bill Clinton for a blow job. Are you jealous or what?

So, why would you vote for one of the Rick(i)s? They all voted for George Bush, one of R2s rare votes. They all voted for R1 in the last go-round. There’s no real difference between R1 and R3 except where they get their hair done. R2 just wears a hat.

R2 went to Borneo in the Peace Corps when he was younger and smarter but now he’s morphed into Jesse Ventura Jewboy. P.S. for those of you who don’t follow country music, this is not an anti-Semitic slur, it’s an allusion to R2's musical group.

Do you want a governor who doesn’t believe in government? Vote Republican - limited government is part of their platform.

I know they say that voting is important but these people don’t have to waste their own personal time on the voting thing. If you go to the polls, we’re just talking one vote. It’s more efficient to buy them or steal them in big lots. You should know that Rick Friedman votes about as often as Dick Cheney. Of course, you have to ask yourself, do you want these guys to vote?

Back to Chris Bell. Why should you vote for him?

A) He’s the best candidate. Don’t get hung up on the fact that he’s a candidate without a campaign. Did you vote for Bush because Kerry had a lousy campaign?

B) He’s the guy in Congress who filed the ethics complaint against Tom De Lay the Bug Boy. Are you a Democrat? What more do you need? Tell your friends. Tell your neighbors.

C) He’s the Democrat. Democrats should vote for Democrats.

D) If you vote for him, and I mean you, whoever you are, who’s bothering to read this little rant, he might win. I know, I know, everyone says he’s gonna lose. So what? Don’t forget what you learned in school about self-fulfilling prophecies. You want to make it come true, don’t vote for Chris Bell. Candidates can win or lose by 1 vote or 7 votes or 12 votes. It happened here in San Antonio.

Are you tired of the Republicans? Quit voting for them. Ya basta, y’all.